Monday, February 23, 2009

Apathetic Problem

I'm finding it difficult to care. At least, I'm finding it difficult to care about certain things. Inanimate things. I don't think I've ever found it difficult to care about people. Even when I don't want to care about certain people, I find myself caring. Funny how that works.

But with my school work, I'm finding it difficult to care. It isn't even because the classes aren't interesting; I'm learning. But I'm getting more than a bit frustrated with myself, because none of the current material seems to be sinking into the inner recesses of my brain.

I read material without fully comprehending it; I can't decide if it's because my brain has reached capacity or if it's because I'm having difficulty finding ways of being invested in what I'm reading. Perhaps it's a bit of both. And even though I'm more or less back to reading all of my assignments in a timely and proper manner, I still feel woefully behind. I'm trying to get used to it, though, because all of the second year students tell me that feeling will be more or less consistent until I graduate.

Anyway, right now I wish I had the means of packing away the apathy--of setting it aside somehow, of boxing it up and wrapping it and tying on a bow. A ridiculous bow. It would be a heavy box. But if I decorated it right, it would also be a very silly-looking box.

Except that apathy isn't silly. Is it?


This post is part of the Blue-Beta Blog Coordination, a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Gromit of The Dancing Newt, Redoubt of Redoubt Redux, Third Mango of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Yarjka of Sour Mayonnaise, and Xanthippe of Let’s Save Our Hallmark Moment. This week's theme: 'A Heavy Box'.

2 comments:

kathryn said...

I'm finding it difficult to care enough to answer you question.

Cristina said...

I can so relate to the apathy. That's why I'm not in grad school right now. :)