Are You Ever Burdened with a Load of Care?

Are you ever burdened with a load of care? Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear? Count your many blessings; every doubt will fly, and you will be singing as the days go by. --Hymn 241, "Count Your Blessings"

Lately, my epiphanies have been happening while I'm singing. And usually while I'm singing in Relief Society. In fact, it's usually been the closing hymn. Don't ask me why this is a trend, because I have no earthly idea. It just happens this way.

Anyway, this week has seemed inordinately difficult to me and I've had to face up the fact I often feel challenged: I feel inadequate (equally) in my home, school, and social lives. But particularly in my school life. Lately, I've just felt stupid. Perhaps stupid isn't even the right word. Not smart enough. I just haven't felt smart enough.

So when I started singing this particular verse today, I felt as though the questions were directed me. I thought "Burdened with a load of care? Check." and "Cross too heavy that I'm called to bear? Check." And then, I sort of felt like I got a slap in the face (in a marginally nice sort of way) when I sang the next four words: "Count your many blessings."

Um, yeah. I realized I've been too busy moping and whining about my struggles to think about the things I'm blessed with. For example, I griped a lot this week about feeling intellectually challenged. But I didn't stop nearly often enough to think that I have several friends in the department who help keep me sane, either by empathizing with my frustrations or by making them seem as absolutely dorky and ridiculous as they are.

I growled about spending a fair amount of time alone, but didn't stop to think about the blessings of productivity granted to me by that solitude.

I whined about the snow without thinking about the moisture it brought and how sparkly it made things.

In short, I realized that adversity and blessings are flip sides of the same coin, and quite often, we get to choose what side we see. As Lehi said, there is opposition in all things.

And that means that wherever we can find bad, we can also find blessings and good. I'm now officially resolved: any time I see something bad, I will refuse to budge until I achieve a perspective that allows me to see the good of that particular bad.