I'm not exactly sure how it happened, but my February disappeared. I blinked my eyes and it was gone. The worst thing, though, is the amnesia: I'm not exactly sure what I did during those 28 days. Sure, I have a whiteboard calendar and up until yesterday, it had all sorts of assignments and projects and to-dos written on it. But I'm not sure I did any of them.
When time moves this fast, I always think that this must be what they mean when they talk about "life passing you by." Except that I was in my life. I can tell you that I bought my sister birthday presents for her Valentine's Day birthday (which I still haven't yet given her . . . we're celebrating her birthday and my birthday on the same day--a month to the day after hers, five days after mine). I can tell you that on the 21st, I acted like the bossy britches that I am in not letting my roommate help with anything remotely related to her birthday party that night. And since Sunday was actually her birthday, I didn't let her make dinner. Although I did let her help--just a little--with the cheesecake.
My grandpa called me to wish me a very happy birthday on President's Day. I remember that, too. I found it funny, but also sad--my birthday is in March. As the years pass, he gets more and more absent-minded and on days like that, I find myself torn between laughing and crying. Especially because he was so convinced that my birthday always fell on President's Day . . . I didn't have the heart to point out that President's Day isn't the same calendar date every year.
So I suppose it's fair to say that time did not pass me by. I remember parts of February. But I've forgotten more than I remember; life is such a fleeting thing.
It may be a good thing that I don't remember some of those days: that the petty dramas have fallen away and that the days I felt I couldn't keep my head above water have slipped into oblivion. I'd much rather remember the days that made me smile, anyway.
My dad has a scripture taped next to his computer at home--Psalms 118:25. "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." It's his reminder that the Lord has given him that particular day, but his attitude is up to him.
I don't think it's always possible to rejoice in the happenings of all of our days. I've had days I gladly look forward to forgetting: but I think, perhaps, the key is to be glad of having time. Of having days. Even bad ones.
My worst days have taught me some of my best lessons.
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3 comments:
First you admit to accomplishing a 4-week blink, and then you wonder why you don't remember what happened while your eyes were closed?
Seems like a self-answering question to me....
Incidentally, next time you feel inclined to keep your eyes closed for a solid month, call Guinness--I'm sure that's some kind of record.
I'm there with you. I have no idea where February went. I remember important decisions that were made but other things...no clue. But you're right about the attitude. It's entirely our choice and I do remember that I chose to have a good one last month. I think I'll continue that this month and see how much I forget. ;)
In a lot of ways it seems like this is what happens to me during ALL of the months, particularly summer! I look back and know that I was busy doing things, important things, but I can't always remember what they were. It reminds me of the scripture that talks about time speeding up.
Our lives are so full and so busy these days that it is entirely too easy to forget or to let life pass you by without realizing what's happening. Yikes!
Don't worry though--I was around for most of those February days, and I know that you were very busy doing fun and sometimes not so fun but productive things.
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