Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Winter of My Discontent

I am running out of patience. Ironically enough, this is a continuing process. Just when I think I cannot lose patience with anything else, I do. I lose it with my working situation. Or my living situation. Or my church calling situation.

To put it succinctly: I. Hate. Waiting. I hate waiting more than I hate celebrity news. More than I hate people who refuse to get along with me. More than I hate the way 1984 ended. More than I hate olives and mushrooms. More than I hate how easily my older brother can get a rise out of me sometimes.

(Well, it started out succinctly, but then I had to elaborate. I guess that's what happens when I try to deny the part of my nature that likes to expound.)

The graduate school applications--most of them--have been submitted. Were, in fact, submitted precisely a month ago. Actually, the deadline was precisely a month ago. So they were submitted prior. And this has been a long, long month. And the rest of the month will be long. All days will be long until I know what will be happening with my life.

When I look at it that way, I suppose most of my patience problem could be distilled to the idea I am impatient because I do not know things I feel I need to know in order to proceed with my life.

How do the patient people do it?

2 comments:

Thirdmango said...

I am currently in the almost exact same boat, as I have job applications out in another state, and I really want to move there, but I can't until I get accepted. It's not so much the waiting that bugs me, it's the fact that my entire life is being decided by someone else. I have no power over this part and I'm going crazy. So I understand your plight.

Xan said...

First: I hated the way 1984 ended, though at the same time, I loved it. For reasons we can discuss later.

Second: I sympathize completely. I agonized over the waiting to hear if I'm accepted thing rather dramatically. To the point, that I knew I was accepted before receiving my acceptance. I'm that good. :D