Most of the time I laugh about some of the ridiculously antiquated notions people have about Mormons--that we're polygamists, that we do not believe in television or movies, that we're like the Amish but weirder. I remember laughing delightedly when a friend who moved from California to Utah during junior high relayed how she had been surprised to see normal houses instead of log cabins.
But now I feel that my family, at least, is more old-fashioned than I had thought. This is why: I have a dowry. My sisters, though I didn't realize it at the time they got married, also had dowries.
Don't get me wrong. These aren't the Jane Austen, please marry my daughter because I'll even PAY you--and oh, by the way, thank you for relieving me of the financial obligation a daughter is--kind of dowries. Most of the items are heirlooms--inheritances of some kind from each of my grandmothers (one still living, one dead). Some of the items, it seems, go farther back than two generations; some of them are heirloom heirlooms. (And I'm petrified of being the one who somehow manages to destroy them and thus destroy a legacy)
I only recently became aware of the concept that I would have a dowry when my mom asked if I liked the quilt on my grandparents' spare bed. She tried too hard to force a casual tone to the question, so I asked why she asked. "Well," she said, "Grandma thought we might make it part of your dowry."
"Oh," I said. "I like it a lot. That's fine."
And then I puzzled: how many other girls my age have dowries? Several of the girls I grew up with kept hope chests--things I mercilessly mocked--and delighted in buying things they could store in their chests until they could married. (And come on--who wouldn't mock a 14-year-old girl going into obvious raptures over a blender when she had come to the store with her friend, who needed a t-shirt?)
When I told a friend about it recently, he laughed out loud. Asked what was in my dowry. And then told me that, sorry, I didn't have enough belongings to make him a proper wife.
Perhaps my dad should invest in some cows?
4 comments:
I've always wanted a hope chest, but not because of the marriage association. For example, Target has some things right now that will totally work in my perfect, dream living room. I have this one room planned, that's it. And I'd love to have a place to start buying pieces for it. So when I have a place of my own to decorate...but I don't have one, and I am dowry-less...at least you have something.
So what you're saying is, if I marry you, I don't just get you, I get stuff too? This deal is getting better and better!
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That's the great thing about tshirts and cows---they're pretty immune to inflation.
Maybe Mormons are weird, then. We'd have to say the same for many european and middle eastern countries, then.
A wonderful blog. I laughed out loud, quite literally.
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