Oh, That I Had a Camera

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.

Today, I wish I had a camera. Of course, that would probably only do more to establish my reputation as an office oddball. I would then not only be the girl who writes poetry on her lunch break and who makes joking literary references, they'd also think I was some kind of Ansel Adams wannabe.

That aside, I will try to paint you a verbal picture of the one and only person in this office who does not like me. She is two years older than I am. Shorter and stouter, but our color is similar. Except that she's paler than I am, if such a thing is possible. And trust me, such a thing is possible.

She also has next to no personality. I don't mean this in an entirely critical way. Quite literally, her face has two expressions--impassive and malevolent. You think I'm exaggerating. But I'm not.

In fact, there is a much more concise way of explaining this. If you ever walked past her office and saw her out of the corner of your eye, you could easily mistake her for Severus Snape. Her hair has the right amount of grease, her clothes are the right kind of black, and her shoes--spot on, she's Severus. Until you actually look at her and realize she's a woman and not a greasy wizard man.

I realized this today. She wears a particular fur coat (faux, of course--but doesn't it look real?) when she's cold, and by heavens! She actually looks like Neville's Snape boggart dressed in his grandmother's clothing. I'd attach a picture, but it's just so much more delicious for you to remember what Snape looked like.*

*And I don't want to search for one . . .