An Eventful First Day of Work

And no, my first day of work was not today. It was Monday. What kind of strange job would an employee start on a Wednesday? Anyway, Monday proved to be an eventful day. I did many things: filled out forms, learn some of the protocols for doing a variety of activities (from writing letters to updating address books in Excel), filled out more forms, did some filing, learned how to use the copy machine that should officially be considered an antique, filled out some more forms . . .

Anyway, my retention as an employee was (and is) dependent on two things: a good evaluation after the 90-day "probation period" and successfully passing a drug screen. I made a face at the drug screening paperwork for a variety of reasons: a) the methodology is gross, b) the address for the drug screening place was in Salt Lake, c) I don't have a car or a license, and d) actually, I think I used up all my reasoning.

My boss knew that I would be taking the bus to and from work, so she decided they would pay me to go to the drug screening place on Monday. She okayed my co-worked to drive me out there. And then I spent exactly one-fourth of my eight-hour day trying to pee into a cup. Two hours! Humiliating! And by the time I finally succeeded, the nurse was actually laughing at me. I guess I made his day somehow . . .

That was the most memorable first day of work I think I might ever have. Of course, I'll never say never. But how good natured I was about the ordeal should be grounds for getting a glowing report on my evaluation.