On Why I Dislike Halloween

Before I start, let it be noted that my dislike of Halloween does not extend to The Nightmare Before Christmas or It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.  So for the record, there are at least two things about Halloween I like.  (In all fairness, though, they just prove that I like Tim Burton animated movies and Charlie Brown television specials.  Who doesn't love Charlie Brown television specials?)

This year, more than any other year, I feel that many people have been asking me about Halloween, particularly what costume I'd be wearing.  My answer: none.  I don't really like Halloween much.  Well, okay, that was the mellow answer.  Some people may have been treated to a more vehement response that may have involved the word 'hate.'

Every person who leapt to the defense of Halloween, every person!, had the same response: "But there's candy!"  

I'm not a candy hater.  But I don't feel like saying that candy is involved makes Halloween that great.  I'm an adult now, if I have the urge for a particular type of candy, I can go out to the store and buy it.

The older I get, the more I see a range of Halloween costumes for women and their female children that are just...utterly distasteful.  And that's putting it mildly.  I'm not a fan of leaving my house and seeing people wearing costumes that show me...too much of them.

While yes, I do enjoy some of Tim Burton's flicks, and a certain measure of creepy-fun, I find no joy in being scared.  There is absolutely nothing recreational about being frightened.  When I wake up on a day where I know I will have a lot of free time, I do not immediately think: "Oh, I think I'll scare myself today!"  I don't like feeling anxiety, I don't like when my heart beats more quickly than normal, and I don't like shaking.

Pumpkin carving and pumpkin painting bring me no joy, as they never turn out how I want and they  never last for very long.  Also, they quite frequently get smashed by ne'er-do-wells.  Pumpkin cookies are good, though I associate them more generally with fall-time and not Halloween.

Maybe one day, if I ever have a child, I'll remember what's it like to actually like this holiday.  But for now, I am content in my Halloween-grinchiness.