Some Things in Life Are Bad, They Can Really Make You Mad...

Periodically, I find I have to remind myself that I choose my attitude. In the midst of long, frustrating, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days, it becomes all too easy to blame my tendency to slip into a dark blue funk on my external environment. On my current struggles in the land of academia. On anything, in short, but me choosing to let my environment and struggles drive me into a dark place. (Metaphorically speaking. But also, physically speaking. Sometimes I come home from school and crawl into bed while pulling the covers over my head.)

Funny how songs always seem to speak to me at times like this. But it has been a particularly trying week, and I felt a random urge to listen to the Spamalot soundtrack last night as I tidied my room up a bit. Mostly, I just wanted something to laugh at. But "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" reminded me of a recent resolution I made about being optimistic.

Needless to say, I haven't been the best about it lately. One of the lines in the song states that "Life's a piece of shit when you look at it," and while I don't think the line always applies, there are definitely times I feel that it's true. But not as true as the lines that actually struck me most: "If life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten--and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing."

As I hurled things with a vengeance in my garbage can while dancing around to the songs, I realized it had been a while since I had done that: since I had taken time, on my own, to smile and dance and sing for no audience but myself. To act like an idiot for my own benefit instead of for the benefit of others.

It made me feel better. Less mad. Less liable to let the things in my life make me swear and curse.