Cleaning and Control Freakishness

As I have periodically observed elsewhere, I find a certain catharsis in cleaning.

I blame the control-freak aspect of my personality: when I find myself facing things that aren't entirely within my control, I begin to clean. It makes me feel better to impose order on those things I can't when I feel that other things are spiraling completely beyond my control.

Interestingly, I realized today as I scrubbed the bathtub that I enjoy writing for exactly the same reason: I revel in imposing order on random words. Writing allows me to take language and to impose my own control. I get to arrange the words; I get to make the statements; I get to express myself in my own desired fashion.

Given this realization, I am now wondering why I don't do both more often--both the cleaning and the writing. To be fair, I'm working out a large writing project and that involves writing notes about how to construct the final project.

But I think I might need to clean more often.

Then again, maybe not...

Spring Cleaning

Today, I did something I should have done approximately two weeks ago.

Actually, three weeks ago.

Okay, fine.  The last time I cleaned my room was two weeks after I'd moved in with my current roommates, and that was mid-February.  Fortunately, I have a rather spacious room all to myself, so it takes quite a lot for it to look dreadfully messy.  Unfortunately, the deceptively clean look of it despite random clothes and books scattered around it means I just end up disappointed when it still takes three hours to completely clean and dust it.

On afternoons such as this, I can hear my mom speaking to me as though she's right here: "If you'd clean it every week, it wouldn't take this long."  It's a statement I heard quite often growing up, when I was known to go for months at a time without touching a dust rag or a vacuum, and when I also neglected to clear clutter from the floor.  I'll admit, I clean more often now.  But I still tend to let my own areas get incredibly cluttered before I do anything about them.  (So cluttered, in fact, that when I lived with my last roommate, I actually had a dream wherein she went into my room to borrow a movie, tripped on all of my crap, hit her head on the corner of my desk, and died.)

The funny thing is this: I actually enjoy cleaning.  It gives me a sense of delight and control to see my formerly messy room looking nigh unto spotless, with the correct month and dates written on my whiteboard calendar, my on-loan-from-the-library-books neatly stacked in a corner, and my shoes neatly lined up in my closet.  One of my professors once quoted a writer who said it was easy and more restful to write in a clean place.  And I must admit, it does feel nicer to camp out in my room now.  

Anyway, I was thinking while I was cleaning.  When things get too cluttered in my room, I tend to lose patience with myself and others more often.  When it is insanely messy, I really can't say I much like having a room of my own.  But as soon as I clean, I can feel my spirits lightening as layers of actual, physical grime are removed.  (Side note: I should have thought to clean the blinds on my window when I first moved in, because I am pretty sure the girl who inhabited the room before I did was oblivious to the wonders of those magical things known respectively as dust rag, vacuum, and cleaning wipes.)  I can relax more when I let myself be organized.

What I forget, sometimes, is that I can apply this principle to my life: sometimes I just need to strip away the clutter.  I don't need all of the activities, all of the to-do lists, all of the self-appointed tasks I give myself.  While life is about learning, it's not about going and doing all the time.  I'm sure even Nephi had to stop and allow himself to mellow once in a while.

But in this world, it seems I am something of an anomaly if I am not always preoccupied.  Not always busy.  Not always running to get somewhere or to achieve something.  Sometimes I forget I can achieve more by simply cleaning out my life and letting myself recharge than I can by running around like a crazy woman.  So it's good to deep-clean as I did today, because it's good to remember that sometimes, I'm just allowed to be me.