Tuesday, January 29, 2013

I Can Rescue Myself...

"Most maidens are perfectly capable of rescuing themselves in my experience, at least the ones worth something, in any case." --From The Night Circus

This will not be a post wherein I review this novel.  If you want to read that, please feel free to mosey on over to the book blog...a blog which, as it seems at the moment anyway, I post to more often these days than I do to this one.

If you want a brief summary: I highly recommend it, if only so that any of you would read this post will also have the joy of visiting the circus.  You'll know what I mean if you read the novel.

That said: this particular sentence toward the end of the book sort of seeped into my head more than a lot of specific other sentences did.  The initial reason, of course--I loved the very obvious sentiment expressed.  Females who are worth their salt, so to speak, don't need anyone to go around saving them.  They save themselves.

The more I thought of this idea, the more I realized: I spend a significant amount of time hoping that I'll be saved, in some way, without having to do anything.  Now let's be clear here.  I'm not talking about the need for someone to play dashing knight to my damsel-in-distress.  (At worst, I'd say I'm damsel-in-a-quandary or damsel-who-feels-stuck...I'm never in distress.)

Anyhow, I've realized that I'm a little too ready a lot of the time to just sit back and wait for stuff.  When faced with situations I'd prefer to change, I often just wait for them to change.  (It's silly, really, as some of the situations I'm thinking of would have no way of changing without effort on my part.)

And then, the other day at work, somebody mentioned being impressed with me--made a comment, essentially, that the way I acted at work showed in some measure that I knew how to live well.  I thanked said somebody, all the time thinking about how wrong that assessment seems to me.  I continually feel as though I could be doing more, be doing better, and I continually feel as though I need to be the person who figures out how and what to do.

In other words, I think I need to start being a bit more demonstrably capable of rescuing myself.

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