On Flirting

Flirting is an art. Like all arts, working at it can only get a girl so far. Either you have it, or you don't. ("It" defined as, in this case, "the ability to make members of the opposite gender fall down at your feet with the right body language and a few well-placed words.")

Yet there is hope. Though flirting is primarily accomplished via a face-to-face medium, other mediums can also be used. Take writing, for example. I'm an absolute rubbish flirt in person. I have no qualms about admitting it. Many close friends of mine can testify that any forays into the realms of in-person flirting on my part end with me being very red and most people nearby, including the attempted flirt-ee, being very amused. Such is my lot in life, and I accept it.

When it comes to writing, however, my fingers are a heck of a lot more bold than my mouth is. Besides, I figure there is a strict divide between written conversations and spoken conversations, even with people you know. I normally don't pick up Facebook conversations with friends when we're talking in person, and I usually don't bring up in-person conversations online. (It's rather like that whole church-and-state divide . . . very distinct theoretically, but slightly more muddled in practice)

Anyway, whether I'm sticking my foot in my mouth in person or sassing it up online, flirting does not mean love. It is prelude to an interest that could evolve to a deeper interest that could result in something. Also, it is a test. If someone can still talk to me after I've embarrassed myself by attempting that whole in-person flirtation thing, they pass. They obviously have enough character for me to ponder if I want this to lead somewhere.

Likewise, if they show the good sense not to be too disappointed at some of my in-person interactions after enjoying my sass online--they, too, shall pass.

But again, flirting is not a commitment. Please repeat this. Make it a mantra. Seriously.

And one more important caveat: talking to a member of the opposite gender is not flirting. Especially if the conversation includes obvious small talk generalities that must be done away with: education, work, hobbies. If it started off with, "Hey, how's school going?" and ended with "Talk to you next time I see you," no bells are ringing. No angels are singing. Neither of the respective parties are contemplating what it would be like to be married to the other.

P.S. Sometimes snarky quibbling is just that--snarky quibbling. It's got nothing to do with sexual tension, hidden liking, blah blah blah. Sometimes it's just fun to get someone else's goat.